Saturday, March 26, 2005

More Silly Internet Diagnostic Quizzes

My previous blog entry about internet quizzes generated so many responses that I thought I'd do it again, especially since most people are celebrating the holidays with their families this weekend and probably don't want to read and think about anything that's very complicated. Besides that, most of today was devoted to taking care of other people's cats (and then shopping for groceries!) so I haven't had much time for thinking and writing. Even though I love my cat clients and their kitties, and I need the cash desperately, I wish I could send my clone out to care for cats and birds somedays so I can get more writing done. Maybe one day before I die, I'll be paid to write or to commit acts of evolutionary research once more.

Today's internet quiz extravaganza was started by gone to the dogs. Despite the fact that this quiz doesn't give you the code so you can link to a cute picture that pops up on your blog, it is one of the best designed websites I've ever seen (and that includes Ben and Jerry's Iscream website and JK Rowling's official website, which amuse me, too). This quiz is based on the premise that there is a dog inside each one of us, just waiting to get out. It features a quiz, "What dog are you?" that relies on the amazing Canine Algorithmic Transfer System (CATS) to identify your trapped inner breed of dog. I am a Saluki, by the way.

Speaking of our fascination with dogs, I also found this amusing and odd little test that no normal person can get 100% correct; dog toy or marital aid? Go ahead, I dare you to reveal your score here! My score was an abysmal 50% in both the warm-up and difficult rounds .. so unfortunately, I am only allowed to play with the quiz author's dogs while under supervision. This really hurts my aspirations to expand my extracurricular money-making activities into dog sitting and dog walking.

And while we are on the topic of life's little deceptions, have I ever mentioned that one of the biggest fears of the average red-blooded New York male, ranked right after a stock market crash, is .. shemales?? Yes indeed, I was surprised to discover that identifying shemales is one of the top five topics of conversation among NYC men between the ages of 8 and 80 years of age. In fact, when I went out on a first date with one NYC lawyer, he stood next to me at the bar and accused me of being shemale because I was "too tall to be a real woman". That was his exact phrase, I kid you not. The coatcheck woman, who easily overheard every word he uttered (along with 82% of the other people in the bar), told me that she disagreed with his assessment when I collected my coat from her before sneaking out the door. Needless to say, he should have taken this quiz before embarassing me publically; female or shemale; can you tell? I identified all of the pictures correctly so that might explain why I am not a paranoid loud-mouth.

I then discovered Quizilla, which is a very efficient time-waster as its name suggests. I decided to get the most that I could from all the quizzes that I was stupidly sucked in to taking by posting only a few results at any one time. I chose to share my "daemon" results today because it fits well with the dog theme that seems to have unexpectedly popped up here. The font in this picture suggests this is a Harry Potterish type of quiz, so I was bummed out to realize that it does not offer a snowy owl as one of its "daemon options".

Wolf Daemon
Your WOLF DAEMON shows that you are solitary,
ferocious, and often intimidating, but not
without your sufficient loyalty and poise.
People tend to misunderstand you, but you
prefer your own company, anyway.

What Animal Would Your Daemon Settle As?
brought to you by Quizilla

On the other hand, wolves are wonderful animals, too.

If your family is driving you crazy this weekend, may I suggest popping some virtual bubblewrap as a stress reliever? I find that manic mode is the most amusing/addicting.


© 2004, 2005, 2006 by GrrlScientist

11 Peer Reviews:

Blogger Alon Levy said...

Are you sure you want a clone? Remember that a clone means that all your costs except possibly the rent are doubled. If you had a clone you'd need to find two permanent jobs rather than just one.

I did reasonably well on the Dog Toy quiz - 10/14 in the warmup round and 9/14 in the difficult one. On the other hand, I completely blew the Shemale quiz, getting 5/16, worse than if I had answered randomly.

My Daemon is a Monkey: "Your MONKEY DAEMON represents a nature that is admired, detail-oriented, and full of curiosity. Some people might call you self-absorbed. You like to plan ahead, and hone your various talents to perfection."

8:45 AM  
Blogger GrrlScientist said...

True, living expenses would be a problem, of course, but my clone could get 20 random odd jobs to survive, just like me! And you have to tell me, Alon, did you get the answer correct for the flowers on the difficult round? My results on the dog toy quiz are so embarassing that I realize I need to get out more often.

One other thing I noticed was the profiles for all of the animal daemons were generalized enough that they could really apply to almost anyone .. don't you think? The qualities mentioned sound specific enough that one thinks "hey, that's me!" but if one reads the results for other animal daemons, they realize that most, if not all of those profiles could also be applied to that person. Or so I thought when looking at the other animal daemons' profiles.

9:41 AM  
Blogger Alon Levy said...

I got the flowers correct - to me they were very easy. I haven't been on a date in my life, yet, so I just guessed based on what was penis-shaped and what was not. With pictures of girls it's harder, though, so I got a worse-than-random score on the Shemale quiz.

I guess you're right about the daemons. It's like astrology, except that here it's easier to believe it because the connection between the process and the result is more solid. With my monkey daemon, they got my planning ahead right (as far as I'm concerned, my life will begin in the summer of 2006, when I start grad school), but I am anything but admired, and no one's called me self-absorbed yet. As with the psychological disorders quiz, it's best not to take it seriously.

By the way, who's the woman in your avatar - you?

12:12 PM  
Blogger GrrlScientist said...

Hi Alon .. your advice about personality tests should also be followed by dimwitted corporate droids who will, unfortunately, never hire potential EXCELLENT employees because they don't have to (it's true; I was not hired based on the results of a personality test that I was forced to take by one of the really big national pet store chains .. CAN YOU BELIEVE IT?? .. not naming any names here). To answer your next question, no, I have no idea why they wouldn't hire me, but I'll bet it has something to do with being "too independent" or "not ass-kissy enough" or "asks too damned many questions" or something equally felonious in our cookie-cutter society.

There's a woman in my avatar? Oh, yeah, so there is! I only see owls when I look at it but I guess there is a woman there, as wallpaper. Nope, she's not me. Even though I am blonde, I would never be dumb enough to post my likeness to my public blog (snert). That's a guaranteed way to attract a stalker or two. Besides, if I did that, all delusions of anonymity would evaporate and I would never be able to publish anything here at all!

1:41 PM  
Blogger Alon Levy said...

There's a difference between the two situations: corporate personality tests are written by professionals, whereas online personality tests are written by bored nerds. Not that it means these corporate tests measure anything useful, mind you; given the APA's assessment, it looks more like the difference between crap made by amateurs and crap made by professionals.

About that picture, alright... it definitely would attract stalkers. It wouldn't hurt your anonymity, however, as people who know you in real life would recognize you if they stumbled onto this blog.

2:58 PM  
Blogger Anne said...

This is like astrology, very amusing.

My daemon is a Tiger; "Your TIGER DAEMON shows an unmistakable aura of pride, resilience, and aggression. Your balance of impatience and inspiration make you a creative leader, although you are prone to dangerous extremes". Lucky I wasn't a snake daemon, because I hate snakes. I'm a Taurus too, what more can I be :).

I made the Dog Toy quiz 8/14 in the warmup round and 11/14 in the difficult one. It seems that I'm getting better. Pet's have horoscope too.

4:22 PM  
Blogger GrrlScientist said...

Hello Anne and Alon! It looks like it's time to break out the wine and have a party!

Alon .. I think you might be wrong with regards to the corporate droid bootlicking personality tests .. they aren't always written by professionals and there isn't any research to suggest that these tests are more likely to weed out "undesirables" any more than a simple face-to-face interview might, even in the unlikely event that they were written by professionals. But, similar to what happens with viruses and immune systems, this is an arms race. Corporations want to hire spin doctors and that's what they find they are getting.

Thanks for the pet horrorscope link, Anne. Now I have yet another fun time-wasting activity I can engage in when I am procrastinating from job hunting. I think that your tiger daemon is happy to know that you are also a Taurus .. at least you can keep yourself fed if you become stuck on a deserted island, right? By the way, I am amused by your alligator/dolphin avatar .. did you make that yourself?

8:10 AM  
Blogger Anne said...

I'm glad you like my alligator/dolphin. You might find some more pictures here and here, quite amusing.

5:43 PM  
Blogger GrrlScientist said...

Like a terrible car wreck, those images are both horrifying and fascinating at the same time. Thanks for sharing those links!

7:13 AM  
Blogger Most Exhaulted Ned Limpopo said...

I believe that the Daemon quiz originates with the Phillip Pullman series "His Dark Materials."

3:07 AM  
Anonymous Cody Kinkade said...

Thank you, I just wanted to give a greeting and tell you I like your blog.

12:29 AM  

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