Sunday, April 17, 2005


I woke up this morning, quite late, and felt I was stumbling slow-motion through the fluffy pillows of a dream. Wouldn't you know it? I have ignored it for a week, but I can't ignore it any longer: I am ill. As usual, I have impeccable timing. Today and tomorrow are the warmest days of the year so far in NYC; lovely spring days without the typical life-sucking humidity, days that are full of migrating warblers that I won't see because I am sick. These will probably be the best days of the entire summer in NYC, and I will be trapped inside, in a swirling, boring, miserable sauna of illness.

I do not have internet access in my apartment so I rode the subway in to my former employer's building where they lend me use of a computer with internet access. So here I am, feverish and aching, and feeling terribly guilty because I am not accomplishing much. I planned to work on 11 "shotgun" job applications, six writing samples for another job application, and try to make a dent in that four-inch stack of lab reports and exams I have to grade before Tuesday. After all that is done, I planned to reward myself by working on my issue of Grand Rounds (which should be easy since I have received only four submissions so far, geez!). But I can't concentrate. I don't have enough energy to remain focused for longer than three seconds at a stretch. I don't even have enough energy to worry about my impending unemployment that looms in three weeks, I don't have enough energy to worry about my sudden and surprising scarcity of cat-sitting and dog-walking jobs that have otherwise kept me fed for the past eight months.

I do, however, have enough energy to worry about this illness becoming something much worse. Even though I rarely become ill, when I do, I tend to get very ill. I learned two weeks ago that, as an Adjunct, I do have health insurance .. after I've taught for four semesters straight for 10 hours or more per semester at the same school. Since summer semesters aren't included in this scheme, that translates into 2 YEARS of teaching before I have the right to see a doctor or a dentist without eviction for non-payment of my rent.

I feel so lucky.

I am not sure when I will be writing another blog entry. I was working on a piece that was supposed to be done today, an essay that investigates how cockfighting spreads avian influenza and other diseases, but I probably will not be able to finish it in time to include in this week's Grand Rounds blog carnival, as originally planned. But I know I will be publishing Grand Rounds on Tuesday, as promised, and that I will also be teaching that day regardless of how ill I am (Adjuncts don't get paid sick leave), but other than that, I might be away from my blog for a few days. Sorry. With the exception of my birds, books and music, my readers are the only thing that give me any pleasure these days. Take care of each other and I'll be back as soon as I am feeling better. Who knows? Maybe I'll meet a cute, single doctor who makes house calls and who likes parrots?

Well, dreams are still free, aren't they?


© 2004, 2005, 2006 by GrrlScientist

4 Peer Reviews:

Blogger Dreaming again said...

well, I hope you get your cock fighting blog entry done. I live in one of (if not the only) states where cock fighting is legal.
Oklahoma ...ain't it grand????

We had an election a couple of years to see if the people of the state wanted it outlawed or not. Hands down the law passed to out law it.

They sued ...they won. It's still legal.

Don't get it ..don't get it at all!

I'd be VERY interested in your information!!!!

5:25 PM  
Blogger GrrlScientist said...

Thanks, Dreaming Again .. I have extra motivation to finish this essay now. I already have a mountain of information and some unpleasant experiences with the problems created by cockfighting so hopefully, I will be able to finish the essay soon.


7:23 AM  
Blogger Alon Levy said...

I hope you get that essay up soon, but if you don't then I can wait.

Do you always go to your former employer to update this blog, or what?

11:56 AM  
Blogger GrrlScientist said...

Yes, all my computer access is through my former employer. One day, I might be able to afford my own computer and internet connection, but until then, I depend upon the good graces and kindness of others. I occasionally peek in when I am teaching, but I will lose that computer/internet access when that job ends in three weeks.

I think the cockfighting essay will be finished by this weekend. Even though I am still feeling poorly, I feel better than I did yesterday at this same time. (But I do wish I could blog from home when I am sick!)


1:58 PM  

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